Since childhood, we have been taught that we must ask for forgiveness for poor behavior, the smart one is the first to repent, and sincere confession softens the guilt. Psychology professor Leon Zelezer disputes these beliefs and warns: before apologizing, think about the possible consequences.
The ability to ask for forgiveness for unworthy acts from time immemorial is considered a virtue. In fact, the content of all literature on this topic comes down to how useful it is to apologize and how to do it sincerely.
However, recently, some authors have started talking about the minuses of the apology. Before admitting your guilt, you need to think about what it can turn out – for us, our friends or relations with which we value.
Talking about responsibility for errors in business cooperation, the business browser Kim Durant notes that written apologies characterize the company as honest, ethical and respectable and generally reflect its principles. Psychologist Harriet Lerner assures that the words “forgive me” have a powerful healing force. The one who pronounces them makes a priceless gift not only to the person whom he offended, but also to himself. Suspective repentance adds self -esteem and speaks of the ability to objectively evaluate its actions, it emphasizes.
In the https://nizenterprise.com/about/ light of all this, all the above will sound ambiguously, and possibly cynical. However, unconditionally believe that apologies are always and everyone goes for good, big mistake. In fact, this is not the case.
If the world were perfect, apologies would not bear any risk. And there would be no need for them either, because everyone would have acted deliberately, tactfully and humane. No one would find out the relationship, and there would be no need to bathe the guilt. But we live in reality, where the very fact of an apology does not imply that the willingness to bear responsibility for our mistakes will ensure the situation of a successful outcome.
For example, when you sincerely repent, trying to explain how you regret that you rude or act selfishly, that you did not want to offend or angry anyone, you should not expect that you will be forgiven right away. Perhaps a person is not yet ready for this. As many authors note, someone who feels offended needs time to rethink the situation and come to forgiveness.
Let’s not forget about people who are distinguished by painful vindictiveness and revenge. They instantly feel how vulnerable the one who pleads guilty becomes, and it is difficult to resist such a temptation. Most likely, they will use what you said against you.
Since they seriously think that they received “Blanche cards” to get out in full, they take revenge without a shadow of doubt, regardless of how much they had caused someone’s words or actions. Moreover, if regret is expressed in writing, with specific explanations why you considered it necessary to make amends, they have indisputable evidence that you can direct against you. Say, share with common acquaintances and thus denigrate your good name.
Paradoxically, there are many examples in history when guilty admission destroyed the reputation. It is sad, if not tragic, that excessive honesty and improvisability destroyed more than one high -moraine nature.